I’ve been in a bit of an odd mood over the last two days or so; I personally blame it on the stress of my upcoming resit exam but let’s put that to the side for the moment.

No, I’ve more so been thinking about the effect apps like Grindr and Tinder have had on my relationship with social-digital technology. I think they have created a kind of paradox within the modern LGBTQ community because, on the one hand, they provide a means of communication between individuals of a minority group, however, they also encourage one to be in a constant sexual headspace.
Now, I am probably the farthest thing from a prude that it is possible to be but I had to sit down last night and really ask myself what exactly I wanted out of some of the online interactions I was having. With apps like Grindr making arranging a sexual encounter as easy as ordering take-out for the morning after it’s no surprise that I feel conditioned to interact with other users a certain way. That is to say the superficial way in which I’ve learned to interact with other guys on Grindr has become more or less a standard practice; and what worried me is that I found it seeping into how I use other social-media applications.
So I stopped.
I deleted my Grindr profile and for good measure my Snapchat (which I barely really used anyway). I went through my Instagram and Facebook followers/friends and deleted the people who I had no real relationship or connection with and am now going to try to foster more genuine friendships with people who I was otherwise pushing to the side.

See I do appreciate why Grindr exists however I’ve learned the same lesson time and time again that it’s just not the platform for me. It makes me unintentionally superficial and shallow plus, if you’ll allow me to sound egotistical for a moment, I don’t need it. Every time I’ve gone out to a club or other social occasion and met someone organically I have felt so much better about myself. I personally am someone who can’t be sexual without some sort of personal or romantic connection and every time I’ve tried to be otherwise it’s left me feeling worse off than I was beforehand.

One other related thing that’s been on my mind is that, in a way, apps like these make people think that they are in some way entitled to sex. What I mean by that is if, at 11pm I was “in the mood” and talking to someone that does not somehow equate to every future conversation I have with them having a sexual subtext. At this point I would love to go on a first date where there is no expectation of anything sexual happening. If sexy-times do occur organically that’s one thing but especially with dates/meetups off of Tinder or Grindr I always feel that any encounter will always eventually involve sex at some point.

Anyway apart from that my life over the last few weeks has been rather tedious and boring; with the exception of attending my first ever Summer in the City (which I know is a big exception but faced with the prospect of constant revision it was only a blip on a bland landscape of studying financial charts.) My aforementioned resit exam is Financial Analysis and Control which is as daunting as it sounds. As someone who has come from a primarily liberal arts background numbers have never really been my thing but because I have so much prep-time I think I’ll be prepared come September 5th.

Anyway I should probably get back to revision. This was just on the forefront of my mind today and I needed to get it out.