Post-Relationship Thoughts

Hey Guys

Firstly thank you for putting up with me continuously discussing this but for obvious reasons relationships are very much on my mind right now and I foresee I'll keep discussing them until they're not.  

So as you know my boyfriend and I called it off a few days ago after almost nine months of dating.  Not a considerably long time but long enough for it to feel significant.  Granted in this specific relationship I've done several things which I'll look back on as major life events.  Traveling to Asia exclusively with my significant other for example.  Being introduced to a very influencial Vancouver family for another.  Regardless of the length of the relationship it was a fairly substantial one.  

I find my situation now interesting because throughout my teenage years and the relationships that were emotionally turbulent I developed several strategies in coping with my feelings.  Ones which I've discovered naturally and some that were recommended to me by the various therapists I've seen.  For me, these include thought-stopping (see link), environment removal and distraction techniques.  Environment removal just means getting myself out of my current space to clear my thoughts and distractions range from watching youtube, listening to audiobooks and basically anything that activates the creative parts of my brain.  These in essence distracte my brain from feeling sad by interrupting thought patterns and creating new neural pathways.  

Currently though I'm finding myself in a weird position where I'm processing the end of a relationship and my "blueprints" on how to behave in this situation are kind of outdated.  They only have my previous, negative relationships to outline how I should be reacting when realistically I'm fairly alright.  In a way I feel like I'm in a weird holding pattern where I am going through my pre-established, post breakup steps but for the reasons I've just described my brain isn't fully onboard.  

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm getting random flashes of sadness or unhappiness when contextually I know everything's alright and that the relationship I've spent the last nine months building is still there.  It has just changed somewhat, evolved I think is a good way of looking at it.  

However on the other hand I've needed to remind myself that whatever way I slice it a romantic relationship is over and it's ok to feel melancholy about it.  I just need to surround myself with my friends, people who make me feel happy.  Because that's really why I'm on this Earth.

To be happy.

G-